Building While Healing

"Letters From a Stranger" is Kenneth Kouadio's intimate chronicle of building mental health startup Strnger while healing his own wounds. These candid, poetic dispatches reveal the emotional reality behind purpose-driven entrepreneurship, showing how personal pain can transform into innovation that helps others.

THE FOUNDER IN PAIN
Building from within my pain 

I believe that my founder journey is very different from my peers. Why do I think that you might ask? It is because when I started Strnger, I was still in an immense amount of emotional pain. It was not on the backend of my problem that I decided to create a solution. I needed it for myself just as much as those who use Strnger need it. I was broken, wondering when the pain would stop, or when would I get so used to it that I would grow numb to it. In a way, I think that I am still broken because through Strnger, I am looking for that person who went through my ordeal, but no luck yet.

THE DELICATE BALANCE
When I am the user 

I believe that there is a fine line between creating a solution that you, as a founder, needs, and creating something that your audience not only want, but needs. All of a sudden now, I am not creating a solution for myself anymore, but for the masses. Coping with that has been a hard pill to swallow because it was just not what I wanted out of the product that I was building, but instead what the users want. The difference might seem slight, and maybe it is, but I think everyday, I am interfering with my own desire to build something that will be accepted by those who will benefit from Strnger. One question that I often think about is, How do I help others while still helping myself? I don’t think I have yet to answer that question, but I take pleasure in coming up with something that could be the difference between someone committing suicide or deciding that life is worth living one more day. I hope you did not get me wrong, the internal conflict that I have with myself does not, at any point, refrain me from enjoying the process of building. It just raises questions along the way that are sometimes complicated to answer. Y-Combinator, the world-famous incubator, has this motto: “Building something that people want”. What if I am “people” and “people” is me? Then what should I build? And most importantly, how should I build it?

GROWING TOGETHER
Intertwined Journeys 

Even though some questions are raised from time to time, I believe that my growth is parallel to Strnger’s, yet they’re intertwined. You might think “Ken, what is parallel don’t even touch, and you’re talking about intertwined?” Let me explain what I mean by that. As Strnger grows, I also grow, not just a human being but as a leader, as a builder, as a friend, as a listener, and most importantly as a founder. I am not goin to say that I go as far as Strnger goes, but it is not too farfetched. Strnger is very much linked to a big chunk of my life. I tie my present to Strnger, my future to Strnger, my place of living to Strnger, and some of my best human relationships are tied to Strnger. The line between my personal life and Strnger is very blurry. One could argue that there is none (the line). The reason is that I am building something that I need. Something that I believe could make a significant difference in the way that I approach healing from a mental health standpoint. Everyday, I am longing for this solution to be complete so that I can help myself; so that I can finally find solace. I do not know if you would agree with me on that, but, that fact that I am myself longing for that solution prove that I am meticulous in its execution. It proves that the finish product is bound to be thoughtfully made.

TWO VERSIONS OF SELF
The founder and the kid 

The differentiation of me as a founder and me as someone still on their journey for a better mental health is challenging. Let’s explore both pictures: One one hand, there is Ken, the passionate and driven founder who has this delusional belief that his solution will change the way people approach mental health forever. The founder who puts the needs of those whose mental health took a hit before his own. On the other hand, there is Ken, the kid whose dream of playing basketball in the NBA got shattered due to a horrific back injury. The kid, who laid in his bed handicapped, in constant physical pain for months while bearing enormous anger against whoever and whatever for the situation he was in. The kid who still wished his story was being written court-side with the sound of pounding basketballs. So how do I dissociate the two? Somedays, they are miles apart, most days, they are one and the same. So again how do I dissociate the two? Or should I even be thinking about dissociating the two? Isn’t it the horrible ordeal that happened to Ken the kid who led to the birth of Ken the founder? Isn’t it that loneliness that Ken the kid experience that led Ken the founder to build Strnger. Aren’t Ken the kid and Ken the founder the same person? One thing I will say is that through building Strnger, I am healing because other people can already visualize their healing through the use of Strnger. By having an impact on people’s mental health journey, I am having an impact on my own, because the conception of what will ultimately help them, is helping me.

STRENGTH THROUGH VULNERABILITY
Vulnerability as my superpower

We are accustomed to hearing about founders whose strength outlasted the difficulties of building their startup. With Strnger, it is different. I am outlasting the difficulties of building my startup due the vulnerability that I display while doing so. I use my own scars to push through, and remind myself that this solution is something that I could have used when I was at my lowest. This solution is something that someone who is at their lowest today could use. It gives me strength to know that there were days when I was the most vulnerable, days when I could have used the right pick-me-up, days when I did not get the help I needed. My strength comes from making sure that no one goes through those darks days without a pick-me-up. This is my strength.